READY for change
SETGOALS
GO forWARD

WELCOME TO REAL TALK WITH CANDACE

Change your thoughts, change your life.

The Work

REAL TALK BRINGS REAL CHANGE

My practice is different from traditional coaching.

I will guide you through taking a hard, honest look at yourself and the life you are living. What do you believe? What's under that belief? What is standing between you and your goals? What can you do now to move forward? People come to me when they realize they do not have to do the hard parts alone.

We often run from the truth. We ignore the little voices telling us we can have and deserve more. We settle into the comfort and convenience of the status quo...until we don't. Until it is painfully apparent that the status quo is keeping us from a life we truly want to live, from our soul's purpose

I work with clients facing hard patches. Often we already have an idea of what needs to get done, but do not know how to do it. We often need a guide, an advocate, someone who thinks outside of the box, a motivator, or maybe even a little tough love to overcome a particular challenge.

Digging into the shadow this way is not for the faint of heart. I work with brave, committed individuals who want to break through their blocks and create a new aligned way of living.

We begin by identifying the discomfort and how it shows up in your life. We agree on what needs to change and we develop a plan of action together. After that, I help make sure it gets done; providing motivation, assistance in identifying concrete steps, and accountability. Our engagement lasts as long as you need it.

My practice does not just talk about change, we change things.

I'd love to help you find your truth, remove those blocks, and live your best life. Sign up for a free 15-meeting introductory call with me to experience this work firsthand and learn how it can change your life.

BOOK INTRO CALL

"Candace is a born coach and mentor. She can see gifts in others that we often overlook. She kept telling me I should be a coach when I worked in the corporate world.

I refused to accept this was a path for me and thought my current role was where I was meant to be. Fast forward a few years - I now have a thriving transformational coaching practice. I just wish I would have listened to her sooner. I highly recommend working with Candace - her unique approach will help you uncover the life of your dreams."

- Jessie Patterson

Transformational Coach, NourishX

ARE YOU...

OVERWHELMED

You know there's something else waiting for you, but you don't know what it is and you don't know how to get there.

courageous

You're ready to face yourself. You're ready to see your truth and follow it wherever it wants to lead you.

STRESSED

Stress and anxiety can be caused by denying your path, affecting your health and happiness.

committed

You will follow that call and follow this journey as though your life depends on it--because it does.

RESTLEss

You're ready for the next step! You know there's a fantastic, inspiring life waiting for you and you don't want to waste another day.

curious

You can't wait to find out what adventures and new ideas are in store for you!

BOOK INTRO CALL

THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION

Denying your truth can affect your wellness

Anxiety and stress break down the body’s defenses. A depressed immune system, migraines, skin issues, TMJ and other health issues can be triggered. This is what inspired me to study structural bodywork with a focus on TMJ and migraine relief. It’s also what led me to open In-Symmetry Spa, offering results-driven services with a focus on sports and deep tissue massage.

"Thank you so much for your life changing help over our 8 sessions together. I came in feeling stagnant and stuck in a career that was never for me. You helped me change my outlook. I feel more focused and have a clearer path forward thanks to your exceptional coaching. I started with apprehension about changing careers after 25 years. I can truly say that I am ready to move forward. Your empathy and the way you related to me as an entrepreneur who left the corporate world and went through change resonated with me in a significant way.

You really helped me see what it means to change mindsets from fear to excitement as I move into my new career. You pushed me to move forward and challenged me to let go of my old habits. You helped me see that I was capable this whole time but it was your technique and truth talk that helped me realize that I have it in me to make this career change.

I am so grateful to have met you and your impact on my life has been more than you will ever know. I look forward to sharing success stories with you as I move into this next chapter of my life.

Thank you for everything."

- Josh
San Francisco

Are you ready to transform your life? Do you often feel unhappy, stuck, or like your days are just ticking by? Is the highlight of your evening that glass of wine you’ve been waiting for all day? Do anxiety and depression weigh you down?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to try a Sober January. I promise it can change your life. Commit to just five weeks alcohol-free and see the difference for yourself. If you find yourself thinking, I can’t quit for 5 weeks because of excuses, it might be time to take a closer look at your relationship with drinking.

To support your journey, I’m offering a free 30-minute coaching session to anyone who signs up for my 5-Week Sober Reset. The question is: are you ready to take the first step? Let’s do this together!
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#sober
#soberlife
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#soberjanuary
#soberreset

Last Tuesday broke my heart—it was a painful day, to say the least. It felt like a loss for women, for the LGBTQIA+ community, for morality, and for the environment. Neither side is flawless, but one side often seems fueled by a heavier dose of hate. It was a win for lies in a world that claims to value truth. People fear the unknown, yet change and uncertainty are two of the only constants we have.

When I chose sobriety, it was to better myself, to deepen my relationships, and to find joy and clarity. Living my best life requires staying grounded, focusing on positive things, and stepping back from the constant cycle of bleak news. To support the communities most affected by these shifts, we need our strength back. Resilience through hardship is what makes us stronger.

Choosing not to drink during these sad and stressful times is a blessing. Feeling everything fully is the healthiest way to process pain. My dad is dying, and this election brought up a flood of emotions. My parents have always voted against my interests and community as born-again Christians, which has strained our relationship. When my dad was lucid, his talk would be filled with attacks on Democrats, calls against abortion, and fervent proclamations about Jesus. Our relationship was difficult, to say the least.

This election served as yet another reminder that my parents don’t share my values, which is a hard reality to accept. Yet, sobriety gives me the strength to forgive.

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#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#loveyourself
#sobrietyrocks
#forgiveness
#forgive
#anidifranco
#love

Today, I’m getting political because I believe taking a stand is important. As a gay woman who is pro-choice, I stand firmly for the freedom to choose. I vote for my daughter, my niece, and all the young girls whose voices aren’t yet at the ballot box.

Many in my older family are Trump supporters, and while I love them, their politics are harmful. They focus on hate, money, and division, showing little regard for how this affects others. Growing up in New Orleans, deep-seated racism often influenced politics, even among those who identify as Christian. Sadly, the spirit of acceptance and love that Jesus represented has been lost on many. While I’m not Christian myself, I know Christians who embody compassion and kindness. It’s a shame more don’t reflect those values.

As a gay woman and as a woman, I find it hard to forgive those who support Trump. He is neither a Christian nor a decent man. His platform is built on hate, division, and stripping away rights from LGBTQIA+ people and women—all to avoid accountability. I hope we move past this era of division and work toward a future that includes us all. We are not going back. Please VOTE & Please VOTE for Harris-Walz 2024

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#vote
#harriswalz2024
#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#voteblue
#soberliving
#prochoice

Be gentle with yourself and nurture self-love. Life can be tough, so becoming your own best friend is essential. Sobriety opens the door to self-love and self-forgiveness. Choose yourself—choose sobriety.
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#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#loveyourself
#chooseyourself
#healthandwellness
#choosesobriety

Let’s talk about what our culture defines as fun. Drinking culture often equates fun with getting blackout drunk, waking up without memories from the night before, being loud and reckless, or ditching responsibilities to go out and get wasted. But what this “fun” culture doesn’t acknowledge are the serious consequences that follow.

A night of heavy drinking leads to a massive hangover. You’re left dehydrated, with an electrolyte imbalance, stomach irritation, low blood sugar, dilated blood vessels, disrupted sleep, a weakened immune response, and hormone imbalances. While alcohol can create a brief sense of euphoria, it ultimately harms the brain and increases the risk of long-term emotional and cognitive health issues.

So, why do we think alcohol is fun? Drinking something that harms your body isn’t truly fun. Real fun is sharing a night of good food and conversation with friends or family, dancing, laughing, and creating memories that you can actually remember the next day. When was the last time you had this kind of night? If you can’t remember, it may be time to consider a Sober Reset.

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#soberfun
#sober
#soberlife
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks

#soberliving
#sobercurious
#love
#healthylifestyle
#healthandwellness

When family members or close friends have serious drinking issues, and everyone finally starts to see it—even though you’ve been shouting about it for years—what do you do?

After years of being gaslit, I often assume people are trying to manipulate me when we talk about hard things. Unless it’s my wife, therapist, or closest friends, I find myself questioning their intentions. When you’ve been gaslit and abused, distinguishing truth from manipulation can feel nearly impossible. It’s taken me years to recognize this, yet I still sometimes second-guess myself.

Last week was incredibly tough. My father is dying, and at home, we’re dealing with people we can’t easily walk away from. We’re setting firm boundaries, but it’s exhausting when these individuals, whether due to alcoholism or narcissism, are consistently abusive and refuse to face their own issues. It’s sad to see people treat others so poorly, all because they can’t confront their own struggles. Setting aside ego and embracing vulnerability is difficult, but doing so leads to real healing.

So, what do we do? We hold our boundaries and stay vulnerable. Healing comes from standing by our boundaries and continuing to do the work, even when it’s hard.
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#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#healing
#sobrietyrocks
#getsober
#healthandwellness
#loveyourself
#healyourself

Unresolved trauma can often drive someone toward addiction, and addiction, in turn, frequently leads to compulsive lying. Individuals may lie to conceal their behavior, avoid confrontation, or protect their access to their substance of choice. Over time, this dishonesty becomes second nature, fueled by shame, guilt, or the desire to maintain control, which creates a destructive cycle that damages relationships and erodes trust.

When people choose not to heal their trauma, they inadvertently inflict trauma on those around them, passing it from one person to the next. For those actively working to heal, this only compounds the pain. It may seem easier to avoid facing your trauma, but in reality, that path is far more damaging in the long run. Healing, though challenging, is the only way to break the cycle and stop harming others.

I grew up in a family marked by unresolved trauma, where addiction created a toxic environment that had a profound impact on me. However, by choosing sobriety, you can break this cycle and put an end to the spread of pain. Healing your trauma is the first step toward building a healthier, more peaceful life—not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.
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#trauma
#healyourtrauma
#healing
#loveyourself
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sobrietyjourney
#addiction
#soberliving
#soberreset

The only way to truly wake up is by getting sober. Once you stop drinking, the healing process begins. All those parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding are waiting for you to face them. You can’t keep running from yourself.

Let’s talk about what it means to wake up. I use this term because, when you’re drinking all the time, you’re not fully present. You’re escaping—from yourself, your life, and your pain. But here’s the catch: everything you’re running from will eventually catch up to you. The only way to find real peace is to stop drinking and start doing the work to heal.
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#sober
#soberlivingrocks
#getsober
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sobrietyjourney
#soberliving
#soberlife
#soberreset
#wakeup

This quote resonates with me on such a deep level. My dad is dying. He was my abuser, but he’s also my dad. How do you mourn someone who hurt you? When I remember the good times, they’re always mixed with memories of being screamed at and beaten. My childhood was filled with trauma, but I was constantly gaslit into believing it was all my fault. My father had his own unhealed trauma, and when you don’t face your pain, you end up passing it down. That’s generational trauma.

I’m ready to face the pain and the trauma now, because it ends with me. I refuse to pass it on to my daughter. My family has always run from their feelings, because to feel is to take accountability—and that would make the whole family structure unravel.
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#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#generationaltrauma
#thefamily
#nola
#trauma
#soberjourney
#healing

Read that again!
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#trauma
#healing
#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#loveyourself
#sobrietyrocks
#healthandwellness
#soberreset
#soberwomenofinstagram

Today marks 9 years of sobriety for me, and over this time, I’ve had to distance myself from many friends and family members who are still struggling with addiction. However, the friendships I’ve kept have grown incredibly deep, and for that, I’m deeply grateful.

Sobriety can sometimes feel isolating, like you’re on your own island. What I’ve learned is that in order to thrive, you have to let go of people still stuck in their addiction; otherwise, that loneliness persists. Surrounding yourself with people who are committed to healing and personal growth changes everything. Conversations become more meaningful, and you stop wasting time in places that no longer bring you joy. When you’re drinking, it’s easy to overlook people and situations that don’t add value to your life, but once you stop, clarity comes.

In these 9 years, I’ve learned and accomplished so much. I’ve become a mother, bought a home in one of the most expensive cities, revived my business post-COVID, removed toxic relationships from my life, and truly healed. Experiencing life fully and deeply is incredible. My businesses are thriving, and my work with TMJ and sobriety clients is more rewarding than ever. Seeing people walk into my treatment room in pain and leave knowing they don’t have to suffer anymore is why I do what I do—helping others transform their lives and become their best selves is my purpose.

If you’re struggling with TMJ, feel free to send me a DM for advice, even if you’re not in the Bay Area. If you are local, visit me at In-Symmetry Spa. And if you’re thinking about taking a break from alcohol, reach out—I’ve created a 5-week Sober Reset program that I know will change your life. Let’s connect!
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#sober
#soberlife
#sobriety
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#sobermovement
#tmj
#tmjtreatment
#happiness
#lgbtqia
#soberreset
#sanfrancisco
#structuralbodywork
#love
#happysoberlife

This summer was definitely a challenging one, but I made it through and grew in the process. As an Enneagram 8, stress often pushes me toward anger, and this summer was full of stress. I had to make a conscious choice—happiness over anger. Instead of staying stuck in frustration, I worked through my emotions. I didn’t always succeed, but I tried hard to choose happiness.

Happiness, like anger, is a habit. It’s all about perspective—whether you see the glass half full or half empty. Staying sober helps you make healthier choices, keeping you in a positive space. My sobriety has been my anchor through the challenges of this summer, and I’m grateful every day for it. I’m also thankful for my friends, my workouts, my wife, my child, my animals, my staff, and our amazing clients.

Since COVID, running my spa has been a rollercoaster. We were shut down for two years with little to no financial help, and I still had to pay all my rent and bills. It’s been one of the toughest experiences I’ve ever faced, and I’ve worked harder than I ever have before. Thankfully, I’m now seeing the fruits of that hard work, but there’s still a long way to go.

Through it all, my sobriety has been my foundation. In stressful times, the most important choice you can make is to stay sober. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that finding a good therapist is the next best step when life gets tough. It’s the key to building happiness as a lasting habit.
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#enneagram8
#happiness
#love
#happinessisahabit
#sobriety
#soberlife
#staysober
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#loveyourself

I’ve been quiet for a while because two weeks ago, I had to say goodbye to my 4-year-old cat. She was my little baby—pure light with the biggest personality. We were able to let her go at home, surrounded by love. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Writing about it has been so hard because the grief has been overwhelming.

Let’s talk about grief. By definition, grief is deep sorrow, often associated with loss. But deep sorrow can stem from many places. When you get sober, you begin to feel things deeply—things you may have been running from for years. You begin to confront why you’ve been avoiding your emotions. Grief isn’t just about death; it’s about any kind of loss. I’ve been in the grieving process for a long time, sometimes for people who have passed, and sometimes for the way I’ve been treated by those I love and thought loved me. My family dynamic was breaking me, and I had to make drastic changes. The grief I feel for my wonderful kitty is intertwined with the pain of a family so broken they can only offer toxic “love.”

Sobriety forces you to get to know yourself, sometimes for the first time. You realize you’ve been running from your true self and your feelings for so long that you don’t know who you are without the substances. And as you wake up to this, you notice that many of the people around you are still running from themselves. Sobriety is choosing to grow. It’s the only way to reach the next level. Life isn’t easy, and it’s full of challenges, but how we face those challenges is what truly matters.

Today, I’m grieving the loss of my beloved kitty, but I’m also grieving the people who were supposed to care for me but failed. My focus now is healing those wounds and breaking the cycle of generational trauma. It ends with me. My decision to feel every emotion, no matter how hard, is my superpower.
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#grief
#stagesofgrief
#sobriety
#soberlife
#sober
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#loveyourself
#catsofinstagram
#brokenheart
#furbabies
#wecandohardthings
#acceptance
#healing

I wanted to share my thoughts on hope. For the first time in a long while, I genuinely feel hopeful. We’ve been living under a cloud of hate and fear, but now it feels like we’re on the brink of something new. We’re moving past the darkness and stepping into a new dawn. I can feel this shift on so many levels.

At 53 years old, I’m going through a lot of changes—some wonderful, and some more challenging. Menopause has been a significant part of this transition. For those experiencing it, you know how it can turn your life upside down, affecting both your body and mind. Amidst all these changes, the one thing I’m most grateful for is my sobriety. Menopause brings a heightened awareness of mortality and just how brief life can be.

II’ve been watching the DNC, and what I’ve seen fills me with joy. The speeches have been inspiring, and I have faith in the next generation. I’m hopeful that this November we’ll elect our first female president. To have witnessed the first Black president in my lifetime—and potentially the first Black female president—feels incredibly significant. Hope is in the air, and I’m ready for it, fully present and sober!
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#sober
#soberinstagram
#soberlife
#soberlifestyle
#hope
#letsgo
#harriswalz2024
#voteforhope
#lgbtqia
#loveislove
#menopause

As September approaches, it’s time for a fresh start—whether you’re a parent, an entrepreneur, or anyone ready for a new journey. One of the best ways to kick off this journey is by addressing what’s been holding you back. A 5-week Sober Reset can help you gain clarity and focus as you embark on this new chapter.

Are you ready to turn the page and start something new? Do you feel stuck or in need of a change? If you answered yes to any of these questions, a 5-week Sober Reset could be just what you need. Plus, you’ll receive a 30-minute coaching session with me to help you along the way.
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#sobriety
#sobercurious
#sober
#soberreset
#soberseptember
#soberseptemberchallenge
#backtoschool
#soberlife
#coaching

Choosing sobriety is the first step on a powerful healing journey. When you decide to love yourself and establish healthy boundaries, that’s when the real healing begins. Is it easy? No, but it’s worth every effort, and this journey will lead you to everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

Remember, healing isn’t linear. We can only heal what we’re ready to confront. Being able to face those dark parts of ourselves is a gift. When we use alcohol or drugs to mask our pain, we’re not truly listening to ourselves. To fully heal, you need to embrace all aspects of who you are, and sobriety is the key to that process.

Give my 5-week Sober Reset a try, and when you purchase, you’ll receive a complimentary 30-minute coaching session with me!
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#healing
#healingjourney
#loveyourself
#healyourself
#sobriety
#soberreset
#sober
#soberlife
#sobercurious
#choosesobriety

How was your Sober Summer? Did you get to accomplish everything you had planned? Was it a whirlwind of activity? Did the family vacation have its share of chaos?

My summer was a mix of good times and stress. I visited my hometown of New Orleans, where my entire family lives. Going home is always challenging due to my parents’ homophobic, born-again Christian beliefs, their support for MAGA, and the overwhelming hate and fear they carry. It’s heartbreaking. However, I deeply cherish the rest of my family and loved spending time with my niece and nephew—definitely the highlight of the trip. My wife and I kept the visit short, and that was intentional. It’s sad when people are consumed by hate and fear.

On the professional front, I stayed busy working with my spa and TMJ clients, recorded several podcasts, and enjoyed quality time with my kid, who’s always a joy to be around. We also took a family trip to Michigan, driving from Metro Detroit all the way to the Upper Peninsula, where we swam in three of the Great Lakes. If you haven’t been to the UP, I highly recommend it—Michigan is truly a beautiful state.

You’ll hear me discuss this upcoming election often, and I’ll relate it to my sobriety and the experiences of my LGBTQIA+ community. I’m not here to convince anyone how to vote, but I am here to share how my community feels and what it’s like to have parents who support hate and homophobia. I’ll do my best to educate those who may not understand my community. This election is incredibly important to me, my community, and so many others. I’m done with the hate and drama. Hate and drama lead to darkness, and that darkness can manifest as addiction—whether to substances or to toxic behaviors like drama and hate. Let’s choose love and common ground instead of taking away each other’s freedoms.

I choose democracy, love, acceptance, and peace—always.
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#democracy
#love
#loveoverfear
#lgbtqia
#loveislove
#harriswalz2024
#kamalaharris
#acceptance
#sobriety
#soberliving
#sober
#greatlakes
#michigan
#peace
#summer
#summervibes
#summervacation
#nohate

Let’s talk about negative words and how they affect our body and our mind. When we constantly tell ourselves how horrible we are our body believes our words. Sometimes I think people think that by being cruel to ourselves that they’re being humble. No you’re just being your own worst enemy. I have a 12 year old and every single time she calls herself a name I get on her. I try to explain to her that she needs to be her best friend. People will not always be kind to you because they aren’t kind to themselves so you must always be kind to yourself.

I have been on vacation with a family member who is older. I find that this older generation were taught to hate themselves instead of loving themselves. It is hard to be around someone who constantly puts herself down and then starts to go after her other family members. This behavior doesn’t make anyone want to be in your presence and it reminds me to always be kind to myself. I also notice that when people aren’t kind to themselves then it usually means that they will do more negative things like more drinking and just generally stop taking care of yourself.

My sobriety and constant working on myself is the thing that helps me stay in love with myself. I am my biggest supporter! I love myself because everything I am doing is to make me a better person. If I make myself a better person then I will be kinder to people and put love instead of hate into the world.

This election in my eyes is one of the most important election in my lifetime. One side is all about hate & negativity and the other side is all about love, acceptance, diversity and just genuinely wants a better world for all of us. I am a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and I stand with KAMALA 2024💙💙💙💙
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#kamalaharris
#democracy
#hope
#love
#loveyourself
#lgbtqia
#sober
#soberlife
#sobercurious
#sobriety
#letsgo
#positivity
#positivethinking

With sobriety, anything is possible, and within you is an entire person waiting to be discovered. You have been hiding behind stories that have held you back for so long, keeping you stuck in your addiction. Free yourself by choosing sobriety.

When you drink all the time, you repeat the same stories endlessly. You complain about the same things and remain stuck in the same patterns for years. The only way to move forward is to choose a different path. You can’t continue down the same drinking path and expect different results.

Are you tired of your own stories? Do you find yourself talking about politics constantly instead of focusing on healing? Do you feel stuck, as if life has let you down? If any of these resonate with you, it’s time for a change. Starting a 5-week Sober Reset could be the transformation you need.

Stop making excuses about needing to drink for various events and start making positive changes in your life. I promise you won’t regret a 5-week sober reset, but you will regret not doing it. Stop being sick and tired of yourself and start making changes today!
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#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sober
#soberlife
#bebrave
#chooseyourself
#sobereset
#reset
#choosesobriety
#stopmakingexcuses

My best friend was on a podcast and shared a profound insight: “Healing and learning both happen in spirals, not lines,” a lesson she heard from a teacher in acupuncture school. I found this incredibly beautiful and a powerful reminder for all of us to persevere, even when things feel overwhelmingly difficult.

Staying sober is a form of healing, and healing is not linear. Just keep going and keep healing, and I promise you that everything will come together as planned.

Please check out the podcast with Courtney Moore @courtneymoorewellness on @spotify at Happy Medium Health. I promise you will walk away with so much beautiful and healing information.
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#healing
#loveyourself
#loveyourbody
#sobercurious
#soberlife
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sober
#intuition
#trusttheprocess
#trustyourself
#trustyourintuition
#medium

When people say you’re addicted to healing while they’re sitting in a bar drinking one drink after another, they’re often running away from their feelings, surrounded by people who don’t truly care about them. You can’t genuinely care about anyone when you’re in active addiction.

People readily spend hundreds of dollars on alcohol at restaurants or bars, yet balk at the idea of investing in therapy or a program, claiming they can’t afford it. This is often code for “I’m not ready to heal.” I’ve had clients say they can’t commit to my 5-week sober reset because of upcoming events like weddings, parties, or weekend getaways. If you’re making excuses for not taking a break from drinking, it’s a clear sign that you need to.

One client keeps telling me they’re too stressed to stop drinking right now. Here’s a PSA: Drinking does not alleviate stress; it only makes it worse! The only way to truly reduce stress is to take a break from alcohol, such as through a 5-week sober reset.

To answer everyone’s question: Am I addicted to working on myself and staying sober? Yes, and it’s the best addiction I’ve ever had.

It’s time to stop making excuses about your drinking. Join my 5-week sober reset and see how taking a break from alcohol can change your life. I promise you it will!
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#sobercurious
#soberlife
#sober
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#choosehealing
#loveyourself
#beaddictedtohealing
#soberreset

These past two weeks have been incredibly challenging, especially dealing with family issues. My family is steeped in generational trauma. My parents weaponized their own trauma took it out on me as if I had caused all their pain. They were too broken and to unaware to properly raise a child. Alcoholism and a distorted sense of “God” are at the core of their dysfunction.

As I sit here writing this, I am filled with questions and emotions. What do you do with aging, broken parents who never protected you, abused you, and have never shown up for you? Their aged appearances hiding the monsters that still exist but are fragile now and require help. My mind plays tricks that have me swinging between anger and guilt and obligation and knowing they will never change.

My parents use a twisted notion of “God” to justify their hateful behavior. It’s a miracle that I even speak to them, though not a good one. My childhood was marked by abuse, gaslighting, lying, hate, and a complete lack of empathy from most adults around me. It was a miserable experience, and most issues in our home were blamed on me. I escaped at 20 and never returned to live there again.

In my childhood home, alcoholism stemmed from a lack of boundaries, self-hatred, an abusive upbringing, lies, relentless hate, and the prioritization of power and money over everything else.

I am trying to learn how to take care of myself, which is a constant process. Getting sober and choosing to heal was the first step in my journey. The second step was removing toxic people who choose their addiction over healing. The third and ongoing step is telling my story while working with my Internal Family Systems therapist.

Caring for very broken, homophobic, and abusive aging parents who have never offered emotional support is a constant struggle. Today, I choose myself and my healing journey.
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#soberlife
#sobriety
#sobercurious
#sober
#genx
#takecareofyourself
#loveyourself
#selflove
#generationaltrauma
#agingparents
#ifs
#internalfamilysystems
#ifstherapy
#toxicfamily
#blacksheep
#healing
#chooseyou
#lgbtqia

Reducing stress is crucial for our health.

Stress can significantly affect your body, leading to numerous physical and mental health issues. Chronic stress is associated with anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders. It can impair memory, concentration, and decision-making abilities.

Regular physical activity can reduce stress hormones and trigger the release of endorphins, which improve mood.

A balanced diet, adequate sleep, and avoiding excessive alcohol and caffeine can help mitigate stress effects.

A digital detox from devices such as smartphones, computers, tablets, and social media platforms can reduce stress, improve mental health, and enhance your quality of life.

The goal is to minimize stress as much as possible so we can live happier and healthier lives.
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#stress
#stressrelief
#stressmanagement
#sober
#sobercurious
#soberlife
#sobriety
#sobermovement
#reducestress
#stressreduction

I will have another sober 4th of July this year. About three years ago, I was celebrating the holiday with my family at my aunt’s place in New Orleans. My dad, who has struggled with alcoholism for most of his life, can barely walk due to knee issues and a football injury from his teenage years. Despite this, my uncle kept giving him drinks that day. Each time I asked him to stop, pointing out that my dad could hardly walk, my uncle mocked me, and my dad joined in. I eventually gave up, realizing I was only talking to their alcoholic egos.

The next day, my dad fell and hit his head multiple times. He’s never been the same since. After numerous falls from drinking, his brain had finally had enough.

I share this story because many people see getting drunk as fun and light-hearted, but it’s neither. It can be deadly and have severe consequences. I am proudly sober and intend to stay that way for the rest of my life. Do you know what is truly fun and light? Staying sober. Sobriety should never be ridiculed. On that 4th of July, all I wanted was to keep my dad safe, yet I was ridiculed because society often equates fun with getting drunk. I’m here to say that getting drunk is not fun; it hurts everyone around you.

This 4th of July, choose something different and stay sober.

I will take my dog to the beach, make delicious ribs, and just enjoy the day with my wife, kid, cats and our dog. Happy Sober 4th of July, everyone!
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#4thofjuly
#independenceday
#hamilton
#bornintheusa
#soberlife
#sober
#sobercurious
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sanfrancisco
#staysafe
#ribs
#beachtime

Experiencing trauma as a young child often leads to efforts to avoid feeling that pain as an adult. One common coping mechanism is turning to substances, with alcohol being one of the easiest to access. Many individuals start self-medicating with alcohol at a young age, using it to cope with their unresolved trauma.

I have always been the black sheep of my family, seen as the bad one. My life was filled with massive trauma and a terrible home environment, leading me to start drinking at a very young age. I also struggled with school, and the trauma at home exacerbated my dyslexia and ADHD. Now, at 53 years old, I am reflecting on how generational trauma significantly influenced my alcohol use. One thing I know for sure is that drinking never helped with my trauma—it only made it worse. Quitting alcohol and engaging in therapy has been the best decision I have ever made.
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#generationaltrauma
#soberlife
#soberliving
#sober
#trauma
#therapy
#healing
#sobriety

Drinking is one of the most dangerous activities due to its link to various cancers. It numbs your emotions, serving as an escape and a depressant. To truly progress in life, giving up drinking is essential. So ask yourself: is that drink really worth it?
If your answer is no then today is a great day to start the 5 week Sober Reset. Link in Bio⬆️
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#sobercurious
#soberlife
#soberliving
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sober
#soberreset

Happy Sober Pride everyone! Another Sober Pride on the books. ❤️🌈🏳️‍🌈
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#happypride
#happypridemonth
#pride
#loveislove
#transrightsarehumanrights🌈
#lgbtqia
#family

My bestie @betttybeth the owner of the amazing store called @preservedgoods is hosting a mocktail class. Her classes are wonderful and this one is going to be off the charts. Details below ⬇️ and in the bio ⬆️

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MOCKTAIL MIXOLOGY
Learn to craft balanced, alcohol-free mocktails from homemade botanical syrups that recreate the complexity of your favorite cocktails - without the hangover!

Time & Location
Jul 02, 2024, 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM PDT
Preserved, 5032 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland, CA, USA

About the Event
As part of this workshop, we’ll craft two delicious mocktails that have the complexity and aesthetics of a cocktail, minus the booze. Students will take home two class-made mocktail syrups to use in their home mocktail mixology. You’ll get insight into mocktail mixology techniques, explore the health benefits of featured superfoods, and gain skills to create your own delicious non-alcoholic concoctions.

This class is led by Lila Volkas, holistic nutritionist and passionate mocktail mixologist.

All students will receive a 10% discount on post-workshop purchases in our store. The minimum age for this workshops is 14 years old.

All Workshop Sales are final. Reschedule requests require 5 days advanced notice. Review our complete Cancellation Policy here.
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#mocktails
#mocktailclass
#soberliving
#sobercurious
#soberlife
#sober
#sobriety
#smallbusiness
#classes

Racism in our country makes me physically ill. It’s heartbreaking to think that nearly two years after President Abraham Lincoln emancipated enslaved Africans in America, Union troops had to arrive in Galveston Bay, Texas, to deliver the news of freedom. These Africans were unknowingly free for two years.

At its core, Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom and a reminder of the importance of liberty and human rights for all individuals, regardless of their background. The day encourages reflection on the progress made towards racial equality and the work that still needs to be done. It’s a time to recommit to fighting racism and promoting justice.

By celebrating Juneteenth, we honor a pivotal moment in American history, acknowledge the ongoing journey toward equality, and celebrate the diverse and vibrant contributions of African Americans to our society.
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#juneteenth
#freedom
#blacklivesmatter
#sobriety
#sober

Wishing a Happy Sober Father’s Day to all the amazing dads and everyone who fills that role!
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#sober
#sobriety
#sobrietyrocks
#sobrietyjourney
#happyfathersday
#happysoberfathersday
#soberdad
#bonusdad

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